"But I love him"
One year ago today, I sat on the porch of my cabin at Kanakuk. The night before we watched a video called "Jesus is loving Barabbas", and this was the beginning of it all. As I sat there and watched the video, for the first time I truly understood who these characters were. Barabbas, a murderer, thief, and a man unworthy of anything. And Jesus, the son of God, perfect in al his ways, life with no wrongdoings. On a tradition of the Jews called the Holy Day, two prisoners are placed on a stage, and the people choose which prisoner will be released. The judge, Pontius Pilate, places Barabbas and Jesus up in this position, holding their destinies in his hand. As the two men await the peoples decision, Pilate says to the people: "Ok, who do you want" The people answer saying "We want Barabbas" A crook, a man worthy of crucifixion, is now set free. And Jesus? A man who has healed the hurt, brought light into the darkness, and was a friend to the friendless. He is sent to the cross for crucifixion. Even when Barabbas is set free, there is no knowledge of him turning to Jesus and thanking him for giving him life. No, instead of thanking Jesus, he walks off the platform with his head held high just happy to be free from death. EVEN WHEN the people chose Barabbas, and Jesus was sentenced to death row, he turned to the Lord with all his trust in him and said "let them have barabbas, i trust you father", because he knew the love of his father. One of my favorite lines in the video is "For Jesus knew that the father would have to treat Jesus like Barabbas so he could treat Barabbas like Jesus" WOW!! How powerful is that, that a man shackled and worthless is still the same amount of worth in the Lord's eyes. As I watched this video, I was in tears as I realized that I was Barabbas. Even though Barabbas was one of the worst men, God looked at him and said "I love him" and "I want him to be free" I had heard Romans 5:8 hundreds of times throughout my childhood, but I truly understood it at this point: "For while we were still sinners Christ died for us" God sent his ONLY son to die for US, even though he knew, just like Barabbas, we too would walk away from him and go our own way. When we are stuck in the valleys of darkness we think to ourselves " I better work hard so I can get myself out of this place, even though I am saved by Grace" NO!! We are no match for the power of the Lord, who is the only one who can overcome our troubles. Nothing we do to get us out of these times will save us, because Jesus died to save us. So many times we stand on that same platform as Barabbas and Jesus, and we look at ourselves and say "I deserve this", but the Lord is shouting at us and telling us "no let ME have it". We tend to tell ourselves " I deserve this and I deserve this ....." but NO! One person is not blessed more because of their focus, or the more they do their devotion, or the less times they mess up. Jesus tells us we are all equal, and the real power comes from believing in him no matter what circumstance you are in. We are set free as Jesus walks to the cross for our sins, and never will we ever be set free because of something we did. Jesus is all we need. His love is so vast and wide that it will never stop covering us. No matter the shame we carry, HE LOVES US. This video hit my heart, and I knew I wanted to be changed. The next day I sat on my porch, and my counselor read to me Romans 6:23 - " For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" This verse will forever and always be in my heart. We deserve death for our sins, but because of the Lord when we give our life to him we are set free and made new. I prayed to the Lord giving him my everything, and ever since that moment I have been changed. July 12th will forever be a special day for me, because that is when I truly understood what the Lord had been leading me to my whole life. But let me just tell you, even after that day my life has not been all sunshine and rainbows. No, it has had many ups that I have been so thankful for, but it has also had many downs. That is all part the journey you are on with God, and no matter what situation you are in, you can have joy knowing the Lord will set you free. Friends, I pray you will be transformed by the renewal of your mind that God is a God who will ALWAYS love you, and your sins do not define you. We are Barabbas, but as God tells us..... "I love Barabbas". Now that is something to assure you of the Lord's promise for us!
So sorry for the LONGG blog post! I have been MIA and there was just so much on my heart!
Daily Dose Of Jesus!
XO,
Frances
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwX_EpNR4CA
Video from camp: PLEASE WATCH!!! I promise tears will be shed!
